From the darkest days to the brightest...

Although I am far from recovered there are things that make my days a little brighter. A good car chase on some LA highway, awesome. Watching the idiot news reporter freeze their ass off in front of the salt dome on a snowy day, always good for a laugh. Knight Rider in High Def, as we've discussed before, sure to please.


But without hesitation our daughter Allison can make me smile on the darkest of days. She recently turned 9 months old and she gets so much more interesting everyday. The first six month's or so were good, but she hadn't begun to develop her personality just yet. Heck for the first 3 months it was more an exercise in changing diapers and feeding (for which I wasn't very useful). She is becoming such a neat little person. Everything that she does, beside cry, puts the biggest smile on my face. We have actually proven that when she is around me I can extend the time that my break through pain killer lasts. She is hell on "wheels" when crawling now and she is learning to stand too. She pulls herself up from the floor using a table or something else and just has such a proud look on her face.

Each morning when I wake up and see Allison and Stacey I am thankful for my health and the fact that it's only my leg that is broken. While I was in the hospital the second time I asked the doctor if I would ever be able to chase my children around the yard. He told me that it wasn't likely (we will prove him oh so wrong!!). When he told me that, I hit one of my low points in this recovery. But the simple fact that I got to see the 9th month of Allison's life and have a chance at the rest is a blessing in and of itself.

The Breaking Point

I’m not a physically imposing person but I don’t consider myself a physically weak person either (but a few trips to the gym wouldn’t hurt either). Mentally, I would consider myself pretty stable and strong. I mean I don’t cry at the end of a Michael Bolton song (although I did when I left his greatest hits CD in the Ranger, DAMN IT), but who could resist at the end of E.T.? Well after my last, dear Lord I hope, surgery Friday I found my mental and physical breaking point. My surgery actually occurred on Wednesday morning, but it wasn’t until Friday that I hit the wall. On Friday the Dr. returned to remove the sponge that is used to drain the wound and help it heal more cleanly and quickly. I had the same thing during my second surgery, and while it hurt like nothing I had experienced before, the worst was yet to come. The Dr. started by cutting and unwrapping the stuffing and gauze near the toes and pulling apart some harder stuff that went from the bottom of the cast to the top. I didn’t watch much of what happened from here on out because the pain started to really set in. It set in slowly, but once it was there it was there to stay. I know there was tape that was used to secure the sponge. Tape was even used on the incision itself. The tape went between my toes and all over my foot. And for those who do not know me well or see me often, God was very generous with the hair, except on the back of my scalp. Now keep in mind that it was just two weeks ago that my heal was operated on, so the entire area was already pissed off from that. Every centimeter of tape felt like a mile as it was removed. And every rip and cut sent me kicking and jumping. At one point my knee (on the good leg) hit the swivel TV that I had over my bed. During this time though, the Dr.’s gave me more and more pain meds. I was already on a morphine pump that I was able to call on every 10 minutes. They brought in a Dr. who specialized in pain. She opened up the morphine for a longer period, and that didn’t work. Then they got me some sort of lollipop that I was told to suck on. Still, hell on earth as he pealed and pulled the tape away. Finally, I saw them injecting something else into the line for pain and I bounced around in pain and made up curse words because I had simply run out. Then it happened, it was at that point where I had been emotionally used up and physically beaten. The gates simply opened up as my mental strength was gone. I can’t describe the feeling in words and I hope that none of you ever find it for yourselves. Shortly after hitting this point the Dr. finished up and rewrapped my bandage. The pain specialist said that the street value of pain meds that I had running through my veins that day could have bought me a pretty nice car. All in all, with breaks, It probably went on for an hour. But it was the longest hour of my life!

Maybe not Makin' the Laws

Well.... I got up this morning and Stacey noticed that my toes on my bad foot were slightly discolored. They weren't black or blue like the hospital warned us about, but something wasn't business as usual. I'm supposed to have my last surgery tomorrow and don't, in any way, want to jeopardize it. So I had to call Delegate Simmons and cancel my appearance. It was really a tough decision to make, but I think that I made the right one. The thing that frustrates me is that this was my chance to make a difference through my personal experience. Hopefully there will be something that I can do once I am out of the hospital this next time. If anyone hears anything about this bill please let me know.

Makin' the Laws..... Makin' the Laws........

After my accident back in January there was a lot of press coverage. In one interview given by Fox 45 they interviewed Maryland State Delegate Luiz Simmons. In the interview he said that he was going to push for legislation that would stiffen the penalties for drivers caught driving without a license. Currently the fine is something like $300. He wants to stiffen the law and make it mandatory jail time. At the time of the interview I was drugged out of my gourd while recovering at Shock Trauma. When I got home I was told of the interview and tried to get in touch with Delegate Simmons. After giving up hope I was contacted last week and asked to speak in front of a Judiciary committee in Annapolis.

If all goes well tomorrow the committee will decide if the concept is a good idea and pass it on to the house where a bill will be created and voted on. At least that is my understanding. My 9th grade government classes just seem so long ago :).

If it happens will it stop everyone? No, I'd be a fool to even think that, but if it (and this sounds so cliche...) keeps one unlicensed idiot from grabbing a set of keys and causing an accident it is so worth it.

The Great TV Connoisseur

These days my time is spent between four things, TV, Xbox, DVD’s and sleeping. The large majority of my time is spent watching TV. Last week I found a gem in the ‘ol DirecTV guide that brightened my day, Knight Rider. Yes, that’s right folks Knight Rider and it’s in High Definition. Universal HD has chosen to take the time and convert many of NBC’s old shows to high def. God bless them!!! As a kid I loved this show. I just thought KITT was the freakin’ coolest thing on earth. As an adult I have come to realize exactly how cheesy the show really was. For instance some times KITT has fog lights, but other times “he” doesn’t. I saw one scene with a jump and the driver in the scene was clearly wearing a helmet, but in the scene before, no helmet. And let’s not even start about the acting. Honestly, the Germans can have David Hasselhoff. But I still tune in every morning and afternoon to get my Knight Rider fix, no matter how cheesy.

Ok, gotta go, the A-Team is coming on. Maybe they will finally manage to shoot someone in this episode.

Whew... The trek to the basement

I'm back from my trek to the basement and it may as well been a trip to Meca because man was it a big deal! But I must thank all of those who made it happen because you have never seen so many people help one person get from one floor to another. So here is how it went:

1. Stacey slid the ottoman on the chair that I was in out.
2. She held my leg while I lowered myself to the carpet.
3. Then I "crab walked" across the floor to the stair way.
4. This is where I wish I had put up that railing when we finished the basement.
5. Stacey continued to hold my leg as I went step by step.
6. When I reached the 2nd to the bottom step I shoved myself up to my walker and slid my way over to the sofa.
7. Where I would spend my evening.
   

The game was good. I'm a Steelers fan when the Ravens aren't in it. Which as long as Boller is around I'll probably pay me attention to the Steelers. Once the game ended it was pretty much the same thing in reverse. The only difference is that I noticed that I really need a gym membership when this is all over because man oh man did my arms get tired.

Well back in bed now, but glad I was able to see the game on the big screen with the surround sound!

Home again

Well, I'm finally home again after my surgery on the 31st. I actually came home on the 3rd but just got around to doing an entry. It's good to be back. I had some interesting roommates this time. The first was homeless and on Methadone while the second one flipped and flopped around all night and gave the nurses a real hard time. Unfortunately I will be going back on the 15th of Feb. to get my toes fixed. They were supposed to do that before, but they said that my swelling was just too bad.

The Super Bowl, opps sorry "Big Game" is coming on soon and I'm going to make my big trek to the basement to watch it on the big screen. It will be my first time in another room of my house since the 12th of January.