Manic Depression is a Frustrating Mess!!!*

Well folks, things are moving along quite well, now at least. Last week, after my doctor’s appointment we started weaning me off of one of my pain meds, per my doctor’s instructions. I have also been using a med for “break through” pain, i.e. short term quick release medicine that is used to get me through ‘til my next long term dose. While at that appointment the doctor’s nurse practitioner said that I needed to stop using the break through ASAP. I read that as, stop using the drug now. So I did. I went from using 10 pills a day on Monday to 2 on Tuesday. That’s 1/5^th the dosage in 1 day for those of you keeping score at home. Having never dealt with pain meds before I had no idea what I had just done. By Tuesday night the effects had started. Nothing physical or that ever had me in any sort of danger, but I became an emotional mess. In my adult life I can probably count the times that I have cried on one hand, but for the next three days I would probably meet or double that number. And none of these were for any good reason. I was also extremely depressed, a feeling that I have never really had before. That’s not to say that I have never been bummed out, but this was far different. I was depressed, but had no reason why. To those of you who have suffered with depression before I have a new respect for what you have been through. I felt so low, but nothing that I did would make me feel any better. What’s worse is that I would keep thinking about it, which would only drive me down further. By Friday though I was finally beginning to pull out of it. I made my first non-medical related trip out of the house, to Kohl’s (YEE-HAW) and Kurt and Chris brought us dinner. All of these things kept me moving so that I didn’t have time to sit and think about being depressed. Plus I think by Friday I was starting to feel better anyway.

Luckily for me this was quick. I really feel for people who deal with these types of this on a day to day basis. Mine was caused by medicine and simply needed to work its way out. For those people who are naturally depressed and need medicine just to reach a normal level my heart goes out to you.

* Jimi Hendrix, ah man, I really shouldn’t have to tell you ya know!!!